Revised layout

An issue with the initial layout [in terms of narrative] was that some of the characters intentions were not justified enough making the following actions difficult to understand.After a bit of rewriting I developed Mara's story to be stronger by having her interactions with the civilians hit her character harder. I was able to draw from experiences of ignorance I have witnessed to write these scenes and input some philosophies I have drawn from those experiences [people tend to fear things they do not understand etc].

In rewriting majority of Mara's story I was able to introduce the interaction with the Providence leader [cog] as a relevant plot point to describe the reason behind her causing mayhem [he was going to allegedly help find where she came from]. In the initial layout, that scene didn't serve that a great a purpose in the narrative, so in rewriting it I was able to cover lots of important intentions that had previously been absent..

 Also I wanted to define the action sequences more than in the previous layout, to make them more readable to streamline my chain of thought when it comes to penciling. I noticed that in the action sequences that the page can be messy and chaotic in comparison to contextual driven pages where structure flow and spacing of panels must be more deliberate. Drawing the action sequences was liberating but still required planning on how the eye will be directed and aesthetics in general. I found that I forced a lot of large drawings [particularly of/with characters] whereas after reading more comics and getting feedback, pulling the point of view back significantly is quite a common and effective tool. To clarify the characters in these shots, their designs will need to be able to reflected from a far distance.

In this revision I introduced establishing shots which had been absent in the initial layout. These help build the world along with the interiors I spent the time to refine which add story telling elements and foreshadowing or reflect on unseen events.

I have recently been referencing the comic from Image, "Tokyo Ghost" written by Rick Remender, drawn by Sean Murphy and colored by Matt Hollingsworth. The Science Fiction tale deals with the issue of hmans obsession with the digital world and the evolution of technology. I used techniques like storytelling past events inside smaller panels behind the character [which I implemented during the journals entry on the twins past]. The grittiness of the world in Tokyo Ghost is great reference, and the way they deal with the issues in an effective way is something I will continue to analyze as I progress through the books.

Reflecting on the missing elements of my first layout helped me also refine how to develop the existing elements to be more focused and impactful. 

Keeping in mind that each panel is a piece of art in itself makes the rest of the process feel a bit daunting but I feel the current layout is a great foundation. I am pleased to have spent the extra couple of days on this refinement stage.